The French aren't rude

I felt rather dejected yesterday as I returned to my hotel after traipsing about Paris for 6 hours. The French were mean to me. One store owner refused to sell me a soda because I didn't have exact change. I got into an argument with a taxi driver, had my train ticket unfavorably altered and was forced to stage a silent protest for 45 minutes at the news stand to resolve my calling-card dispute.

I searched the internet for a solution to save me from future disappointment (it was my first of six days in Paris), and happened upon How to Avoid the So-Called Rude French.

The article suggested speaking French to the French, even if only to ask, "Do you speak English?"

So I typed some polite phrases into the Dictionary.com translator, wrote the French translations on some hotel stationary and visited the hotel concierge, who kindly told me how to pronounce everything.

Armed with my new French phrases and a translation dictionary, I walked back into Paris. I immediately discovered that speaking just a little bit of French to the French turns the French into polite French instead of rude French.

...except for that news stand guy. I want to beat him with a stick, but in order to maintain decorum in France, I can't engage in news vendor beating. Maybe I can pay someone else to do it...